242. "Our couples therapist couldn’t fix this. Please help."
Money For Couples with Ramit Sethi
Parenting, roles, and money responsibilities
The couple outlines who earns, who manages groceries, and Natalie's desire to be more involved with investments.
Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Natalie and Chris, married with two young kids and a net worth of $1.3 million. Despite their significant assets, money remains a constant source of conflict, especially when unexpected expenses arise. Chris tends to "freak out," emotionally withdrawing and becoming zombie-like, leaving Natalie feeling alone. This pattern, which Chris describes as "catastrophizing," has intensified since their kids' expenses piled up.
Their therapist recommended they talk to Ramit, hoping to establish a financial game plan to prevent Chris's emotional collapses. Currently, 81% of their income goes to fixed costs, with 0% to savings, leading to a feeling of constant stress and no margin for error. Can Ramit help them create a financial system that provides peace of mind and allows Chris to process financial challenges with less distress?
In this episode we uncover:
• The unexpected source of Chris and Natalie’s referral to Ramit
• How large, unexpected expenses trigger Chris’s emotional “shutdown”
• Natalie’s experience of feeling isolated when Chris is financially stressed
• Why having a $1.3 million net worth doesn’t alleviate their financial anxiety
• The surprising reason for their elevated fixed costs and lack of savings
• The emotional impact of feeling like there’s “nothing left over” at the end of the month
• Chris’s pattern of “catastrophizing” and the fear of successive financial blows
• The core question their therapist hopes Ramit can answer
• How Chris’s upbringing influences his current financial anxieties
• The challenges of discussing money when past traumas intertwine with current stresses
Chapters:
(00:00:00) “Your therapist...recommended that you speak to me”
(00:10:55) “Natalie, what’s your role in money?”
(00:25:43) The unexpected (and huge) financial blindspot
(00:36:18) Ramit discovers a massive amount of hidden money
(00:45:01) “You are financially set up for life”
(00:54:02) How "Red Bull wingsuit" leads to a Rich Life
(01:19:20) Finding an extra $1,360/month
(01:44:23) Natalie and Chris’s follow-up: “He’s at ease now”
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Connect with Ramit
• Get my new book, Money For Couples
• Get Money Coaching with Ramit
• Download the Conscious Spending Plan
• Listen to my book—now on Audible
• Get my New York Times best-selling book
• YouTube
If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here: https://iwt.com/apply
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