Preparing for Albania: history, anecdotes and travel thoughts

John Murray, Ali Bruce-Ball & Conor McNamara talk football, travel & language after Cristiano Ronaldo sees red as Republic of Ireland beat Portugal, and England beat Serbia. What about the ‘mind-altering’ shoes some of the England players are wearing? There’s a European theme to Clash of the Commentators. And suggestions always welcome for our Great Glossary of Football Commentary and unintended pub names from football commentary - WhatsApp voicenotes to 08000 289 369 & emails to TCV@bbc.co.uk

00:40 Conor fresh from Ireland-Portugal 04:40 Takeaways from England-Serbia 06:05 Mind-altering shoes & commentary attire 16:05 5 Live commentaries this weekend 18:00 John prepares for trip to Albania 24:55 Unintended (and intended) pub names 33:15 Clash of the Commentators 41:45 Great Glossary of Football Commentary 52:55 Magazine memories

5 Live / BBC Sounds Premier League commentaries: Fri 1945 Slovakia v Northern Ireland on Sports Extra, Sat 1330 Man City v Man Utd in WSL on Sports Extra, Sat 1700 Liechtenstein v Wales on Sports Extra, Sat 1945 Greece v Scotland on 5 Live, Sun 1200 Liverpool v Chelsea in WSL on Sports Extra, Sun 1200 Brighton v Leicester in WSL on Sports Extra 2, Sun 1430 Tottenham v Arsenal in WSL on 5 Live, Sun 1700 Albania v England on 5 Live, Mon 1945 Northern Ireland v Luxembourg on Sports Extra, Tue 1945 Scotland v Denmark on 5 Live, Tue 1945 Wales v North Macedonia on Sports Extra, Wed 2000 Arsenal v Real Madrid in UWCL on 5 Live, Thu 2000 Chelsea v Barcelona in UWCL on 5 Live.

Glossary so far (in alphabetical order):

DIVISION ONE Bosman, Cruyff Turn, Dead-ball specialist, Fox in the box, Giving the goalkeeper the eyes, Head tennis, Hibs it, In a good moment, Leading the line The Maradona, Olimpico, Onion bag, Panenka, Rabona, Scorpion kick, Spursy, Tiki-taka, Where the kookaburra sleeps, Where the owl sleeps, Where the spiders sleep.

DIVISION TWO Ball stays hit, Business end, Came down with snow on it, Cauldron atmosphere Coat is on a shoogly peg, Come back to haunt them, Easy tap-in, Daisycutter, First cab off the rank, Has that in his locker, High wide and not very handsome, Howler, One for the cameras, One for the purists, Played us off the park, Purple patch, Put their laces through it, Rolls Royce, Root and branch review, Row Z, Seats on the plane, Show across the bows, Stramash, Taking one for the team, That’s great… (football), Thunderous strike.

UNSORTED 2-0 is a dangerous score, After you Claude, All-Premier League affair, Aplomb, Bag/box of tricks, Brace, Brandished, Bread and butter, Breaking the deadlock, Bundled over the line, Champions elect / champions apparent, Clinical finish, Commentator’s curse, Coupon buster, Cultured/Educated left foot, Denied by the woodwork, Draught excluder, Elimination line, Fellow countryman, Foot race, Formerly of this parish, Free hit, Goalkeepers’ Union, Goalmouth scramble, Good touch for a big man, Honeymoon Period, In and around, In the shop window, Keeping ball under their spell, Keystone Cops defending, Languishing, Loitering with intent, Marching orders, Nestle in the bottom corner, Numbered derbies, Nutmeg, Opposite number, Park the bus, PK for penalty-kick, Postage stamp, Put it in the mixer, Rasping shot, Red wine not white wine, Relegation six-pointer, Rooted at the bottom, Route One, Roy of the Rovers stuff, Sending the goalkeeper the wrong way, Shooting boots, Sleeping giants, Slide rule pass, Small matter of, Spiders web, Stayed hit, Steepling, Stinging the palms, Stonewall penalty, Straight off the training ground, Taking one for the team, Team that likes to play football, Throw their cap on it, Thruppenny bit head / 50p head, Towering header, Two good feet, Turning into a basketball match, Turning into a cricket score, Usher/Shepherd the ball out of play, Walking a disciplinary tightrope, Wand of a left foot, We’ve got a cup tie on our hands, Winger in their pocket, Wrap foot around it, Your De Bruynes, your Gundogans etc.