The Black Hole of Obsessiveness

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"I was obsessive over it because of what I heard for a year and a half street that I started neglecting her," she says. "It calls me to go into a black hole to focus on my career." The couple's relationship began when he asked if she would mind if he had a girlfriend. He said no, so they didn't talk about the issue again until Laura got pregnant.

Open relationships. Now, you can clutch them pearls and raise those eyebrows all you want to, but this conversation is not going away - especially not in America.
Using two separate samples based on the U.S. Census, researchers found that one-fifth of the population in the United States has engaged in consensual non-monogamy at some point in their lives and if the trend continues, the only place this number is going is up. So… are open relationships the bandaid, the cure or the curse of our generation? And furthermore, how do you actually start one? Like for real? Let’s talk about it on this episode of Lovers and Friends.

We have a loaded conversation between our starring guests on this episode, Swaggy C and Bayleigh. A married couple with a new baby, but an old, inactive desire to explore consensual non-monogamy within their marriage. There are a lot of themes to pull from this interview like: what happens when non-monogamy is one person’s yum and the other’s yea I guess if that will make you happy… OR the dangers of using non-monogamy as a punishment for unfulfillment… OR the joys/ struggles of having a partner who is supportive of your desires, but not all the way cooperative. However what stood out to me in this episode is how to go from being curious to actually being actively open...for real.

FOLLOW THE GUESTS ON THIS EPISODE

Follow Bayleigh:
https://www.instagram.com/bayydayy
https://www.youtube.com/c/SwayleighGang
https://www.tiktok.com/@bayydayyy

Follow Chris “Swaggy C”:
https://www.instagram.com/swaggyctv
https://www.youtube.com/@KingSwaggy

Follow Dr. Monica:
https://www.therapyforqpoc.com
therapyforqpoc@gmail.com

THANKS TO THE SPONSOR OF THIS EPISODE

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Follow Shan:
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Open relationship reading list From Dr. Monica:

IG Educational Pages
· Evita Sawyers | @lavitaloca34
· Chanee Jackson Kendall | @chaneespeaks
· Jhen | @monogamishpod
· Kevin Patterson | @polyrolemodels
· @polyamouraousblackgirl
· Leanne Yau | @polyphiliablog

Books
· Pre-Order | A Polyamory Devotional: 365 Daily Reflections for the Consensually Non-monogamous | Evita Sawyers
· Love is Not Colorblind | Kevin Patterson
· Polysecure | Jessica Fern
· The Ethical Slut | Hardy & Easton
· More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory | Ricket & Veaux
· Polyamory & Jealousy | Ricket & Veaux