The Importance of Trust in Relationships

5min Snip

00:00

Play full episode

Summary

Transcript

Episode notes

We use hyper-independence to protect us from intimacy and vulnerability. Vulnerability requires asking for help, which contradicts our self-image as an independent person. You can no longer solely trust yourself so you make it impossible for anyone to ever get close enough to challenge that belief system. That emotional withdrawal is a massive indicator of hyper-independence. It could also be that you struggle to delegate because you don’t trust others or maybe you focus on your career or academics because you're scared to let yourself have a life outside of those things.

Independence is highly regarded as an admirable personality trait - we are obsessed with people who are self made, who solo travel, pay their own bills and don't seem to need anyone. However, our sense of independence can become problematic when we approach the point of hyper-independency. Hyper-independence refers to an excessive sense of self sufficiency and self reliance, in which we deny the help of others, prefer doing things on our own and avoid emotional vulnerability. Researchers have since suggested that this kind of behaviour may actually be a trauma response, whereby we push others away to protect ourselves from being hurt due to past experiences. In today's episode we break down the psychology of hyper-independence, specifically its origins in childhood emotional neglect and being forced to grow up too soon. We examine the major indicators of hyper-independence, the links to codependency, as well as the consequences this can have for our love lives and careers, whilst also exploring how we can heal. Listen now.

Patreon: https://patreon.com/ThePsychologyofyour20s

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thatpsychologypodcast/?hl=en

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.