How to Schedule Sex in a Relationship

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Sally Kohn: I love that it is counterintuitive, right? Because you think the longer we're together, the safer and more comfortable we feel. And yet what you're sharing is actually kind of the exact opposite. The less creative, the less open that it's just sort of you fall into a rhythm. She says people really hate the idea of scheduling sex because it makes them feel like the relationship is dead. But if you're still feeling resistant, she says, don't use the phrase "scheduling sex" Just say you're having a date night or maybe there's some cute inside joke to call your date nights.

Sex and relationship expert Vanessa Marin discusses the taboo nature of discussing sex and how it can lead to unmet needs and dissatisfaction in relationships. Her new book, Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life, provides practical exercises and dialogue prompts to improve communication around intimacy, breaking down shame and stigma. Through open discussions on touchy subjects and setting rituals for intimacy, Marin believes couples can foster deeper connection, igniting intimacy and enhancing their love lives.

Many people struggle to openly discuss sex due to shame and stigma.
Open communication about sex and intimacy is important for a healthy relationship.
Vanessa recommends five core conversations: acknowledgment, connection, desire, pleasure, and exploration.
She provides practical methods to make these conversations easier.
Rituals like makeout routines can create intimacy
Understanding one's desires, boundaries, and pleasures enables satisfying communication.
Giving positive feedback during sex helps partners figure out each other's pleasures.
Scheduling sex demonstrates priorities but reframing as "planning" can help.

You can find Vanessa at: Website | Instagram

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