I am an effective pizzaist. Sometimes, I want the world to contain more pizza, and when that happens I want as much good pizza as I can get for as little money as I can spend.
I am not going anywhere remotely subtle with that analogy, but it's the best way I can think of to express my personal stance.
I. What would it mean to be an effective pizzaist?
There's lot of things that prompt me to want more pizza. Sometimes I happen to remember a good pizza I ate. Sometimes my friends are talking about buying some pizza, and I say sure, I'll get some pizza too. Sometimes I'm talking to my sibling and they mention they're stressed or just kinda hungry, and because I want my sibling to be happy I'll offer to buy 'em some pizza. Sometimes I want to throw a good party and have people appreciate me for my party-throwing, and people like pizza so I get some.
I think the world does not contain enough pizza. Like, if I could have the magic ability to snap my fingers and make a free, piping hot pizza appear wherever I wanted, I'd love that [...]
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Outline:
(00:27) I. What would it mean to be an effective pizzaist?
(03:36) II. A competition of blood
(05:54) III. What if Effective Pizzaists were bad tho?
(07:55) IV. Im pretty happy to be on the EAs side
(10:45) V. Should I want more pizza? Should you?
The original text contained 4 footnotes which were omitted from this narration.
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First published:
December 2nd, 2025
Source:
https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/yGiR5xe6idDjRs2xk/effective-pizzaism-1
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Narrated by TYPE III AUDIO.