Introduction

CNN's John Sutter went to an eye doctor because he was worried about his vision. He chose a younger, hotter version than the boomer who looked like she'd been watching Murphy Brown. His right eyes are worse than his left but they're not bad enough for LASIK or surgery that would cut out your eyeball and reattach it. The only thing more sensitive than his eyes would be his nuts: "We're just gonna scalp out a piece of your testy"