Nietzsche's Reaction to His Vulnerability

So Nietzsche has a reaction to his own state of vulnerability what does he mean by that? He means his medical condition which is increasingly you know laying him out for days at a time where he can't move out of extreme agony. Still I put up with all this with the sagacity of an old psychologist and without the smallest moral indignation. Oh how instructive it is to live in such an extreme state as mine only now do I understand history never has my vision been more profound than during the last few months end quote.