You want to attack without attacking, right? Cause then they can't play the victim card. Remove emotions from the equation. If your goal is to seek justice, i think that's a losing strategy. You don't wat to blame them. You just want to point it out to them, non judgmentally. Depending on how brutal you are, you can sort of jabate them into more and more stuff if you want to. But you can even do stuff like ya.