How Do You Mourn?

When my late wife passed away, by far the worst things that people said to me were christians who were shallow. You can spot a shallow person a mile away. People who allowed themselves to be transformed through mourning are people that can truly offer real hope to a hurting world. So we are blessed in our mourning, because when we come to the end of ourselves, we find him. We rediscover jesus. And we are blessed, because god builds impathy with us. How do you mourn? How do you abide and actually receive what he wants us to get?