Vivian’s eating disorder started in college. She meticulously tracked calories and the number on the scale. Once she graduated she became less rigid with food, but her fixation with numbers took a new form: budgeting and saving money. In this episode, Anna talks to Vivian about her long and complicated relationship to mental math, how tracking calories and paychecks has helped distract her from painful loss, and how she’s managing with her money anxieties now as she plans a wedding and prenup.

Want to hear more about relationships and money? Check out an episode we made all about wedding costs last summer. And if you heard last week’s episode about a mobile health care clinic in rural Virginia, we have an important update from local reporting on the high levels of executive pay at the Health Wagon, which just prompted the Virginia legislature to cancel $800,000 of line item funding for the nonprofit. It's a developing story we'll be following.

Podcast production by Zoe Azulay 

Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.

And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.

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