How to Use a Bidet

How do you use a bidet? You sit in it. Is it ever OK to pee in a bid? No, Lordy heavens. I've had so much fun with bidets. That little brother must have been about eight. He completely got confused with a bidet. And he had a poo in the bidet and I just remember him ongoing mad and chatting. Squash it down with your coat. Graham, go and get me a carrier bag. I'll never forget that. It's too busy drinking on the job.