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The Terror of Vulnerability
The moment you say, I choose you, it shifts and we all know it. When my choices become finite, I get pushed up against my development in that exact moment. If I can't maintain a clear sense of myself, then I'm going to either make you give yourself up in order for me to feel better or I're going to give myself up inorder for me to feeling better. That's the function. Adults don't get a choice between pain and no pain. The choice is: Am I going to do this dirty? Or am I going to develop the ability to mourn myself so even with you, I can let you see me behind my eyeballs and hold on to