I've Smoked Bead One Time. It Was Really Hard for Me

i've always had a hard time doing any kind of meditation, just ecause it triggers all my perfectionism stuff and religious stuff. One image that came to me during one one of the meditations was, i was is giant, like 12 foot toddler, and all these tiny little adults were like running at me and like kidding me and yelling at me. And i was just walking through them completely unperturbed, totally li happy. That was really powerful. But it's like bengeneraly, like trying to love myself, or love other people as i would rate. So in general, and on linei, i would still do it, but te different, challed hard