Wise Feedback: Improve Performance by Showing You Care

Zach Mercurio is a researcher, and optimist instructor who specializes in purposeful leadership and meaningful work. He is the author of "The Power of Mattering: How Leaders Can Create a Culture of Significance," that reveals the psychological foundation that drives human energy and performance in organizations.

Zach addresses why 60% of employees don't feel cared for at work and how this creates a mattering deficit leading to quiet quitting or toxic behaviors. He discusses the Optimism course he created with Simon Sinek, which focuses on developing human skills that show people their significance so they believe they can improve any situation.

Zach reveals the three essential dimensions people need: feeling noticed (seen and heard), affirmed (their uniqueness makes a difference), and needed (relied upon and indispensable).

He explains how organizations can maintain purpose as "the invisible leader" despite quarterly pressures, emphasizing that people won't contribute to bigger purposes until they first believe they're worthy of having one. 

Listen to discover why the age of AI makes human connection skills irreplaceable and learn the counterintuitive truth that people must feel valued before they can add value.

You can find episode 483 on YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts!

Watch this Episode on YouTube | Zach Mercurio on People Must Feel Valued Before They Can Add Value

https://bit.ly/TLP-483

Key Takeaways

[05:59] Zach defines mattering as feeling significant through being valued and adding unique value.

[08:05] Zach explains human energy comes from knowing we matter, with research showing lower cortisol in those who feel significant.

[11:15] Zach describes the "mattering wheel" where feeling valued builds confidence to add value.

[13:56] Zach notes 40% of feedback fails because people don't feel cared for by the giver.

[18:54] Zach outlines "wise feedback": express belief, reaffirm capabilities, offer support.

[22:12] Zach defines optimism as believing you can improve moments and explains how digital communication created human skills gaps.

[29:22] Zach emphasizes only humans take moral responsibility while noting only 40% feel cared for at work.

[33:22] Zach positions matter as a prerequisite to purpose - people must feel cared for before caring about work.

[36:12] Zach advises asking "When you feel you matter to me, what am I doing?" and outlines three practices: noticed, affirmed, needed.

[38:08] Zach states "hurry and care cannot coexist" and suggests using meetings for relationships, not information exchange.

[42:17] Zach explains these "soft" skills need rigorous practice as attention spans dropped to 47 seconds and leadership requires separate human skills.

[46:19] Zach challenges leaders to master human skills because leadership is a separate occupation requiring separate skills.

[48:20] And remember…"The business of business is relationships; the business of life is human connection." - Robin S. Sharma

Quotable Quotes

"It's almost impossible for anything to matter to someone who doesn't first believe that they matter."

"All human energy is an outcome of knowing that we matter."

"The ultimate energizer is knowing that you and your life and your work are worthy of your energy."

"We don't build confidence on our own. We build true confidence when we know someone has our back."

"People need to be valued to add value."

"Feeling valued gives us the confidence we need to add value. The more we add value, the more we see the evidence of our significance, the more we feel valued."

"Hurry and care cannot coexist."

"When leaders can't connect, they usually try to control. We try to control what we don't understand."

"Loneliness is not the outcome of being alone. Loneliness is the outcome of feeling that you don't matter."

"It's the quality of the interaction that matters, not the quantity when it comes to loneliness."

"People will not care until they feel cared for."

"Leadership is a separate occupation. It is a separate occupation that requires a separate set of skills."

"Optimism is the belief that the future can be better and that I have what it takes to make it better."

"AI will take your job if you do not master the human skills to cultivate trust and care."

"The heart of leadership is to inspire."

 "Feedback without a relationship comes across as aggression."

These are the books mentioned in this episode

Resources Mentioned

• The Leadership Podcast | theleadershippodcast.com

• Sponsored by | www.darley.com

• Rafti Advisors. LLC | www.raftiadvisors.com

• Self-Reliant Leadership. LLC | selfreliantleadership.com

• Zach Mercurio Website | www.zachmercurio.com

• Zach Mercurio Facebook | www.facebook.com/ZMercurio

• Zach Mercurio LinkedIn | www.linkedin.com/in/zachmercurio

• Zach Mercurio Instagram | @zachmercurio

• Essential Skills to Create a Culture of Mattering - Zach Mercurio