20min chapter

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E92: Aidan sends his projects!

The Careless Talk Climbing Podcast

CHAPTER

Rediscovering Passion in Climbing

The chapter delves into the speaker's experience with a climbing project, reflecting on how their attitude and approach to climbing have shifted. They discuss the importance of following motivation rather than rigidly sticking to predefined goals and how rediscovering passion for a project rekindled their motivation.

00:00
Speaker 2
So obviously you've spoken quite a lot about the Lakes project, which you have a name for. Yes.
Speaker 1
The name is spots of time. Yeah.
Speaker 2
So you have kind of you've spoken about that, which is still going to be available on the Patreon. So controversial. Controversially. But at least now we're publicly announcing you've done it. So hopefully that'll be enough. But did you say there was potentially going to be a film about that
Speaker 1
one? Yeah. So well, it's all a bit up in the air. I have Sam Lawson, the guy who does wedge came up actually the day I did it. It's quite, um, uh, quite spontaneous and quite fortuitous. Perhaps. So, so have some nice footage of that. Um, uh, and a lot of footage of trying it. Um, and then similarly have a camera footage of doing midnight. Um, uh, with a handicap, homestyle, homestyle video, but I don't like it. I can't, I kind of like, like, it's got a lot of character actually.
Speaker 2
Are you going to stitch them both? Is it, do you think this could come out as a video at some point together? Or would they be separate? Um, well, I'm not sure entirely. I've been talking a lot to, um,
Speaker 1
some of the folk at Patagonia about, um, trying to communicate a bit more of the story around them. Um, uh, and hopefully trying. I feel I actually really liked the podcast format and the way you can like communicate quite openly. Um, yeah. So have really liked the podcast format for communicating ideas, speaking quite transparently. A big part of my like experience trying these boulders has been the places that have put me, uh, my appreciation for the spaces and I'm climbing. And I feel like filming format is a pretty nice way to articulate that. So kind of like would be nice to kind of communicate that through the filming, uh, medium as well. And so, and Patagonia, the folk at Patagonia have been pretty motivated by that idea. So I've just been having some early discussion from about piecing something like that together.
Speaker 2
That's, yeah, that'd be guys. Cause I imagine that would be, um, yeah, that'd be another good opportunity to get, get a lot of it out there. But I was just thinking for our, um, we, we, we haven't really spoken at all about your midnight project. Um, well, obviously we have between podcasts, but like not since, not since you've done it. Yeah.
Speaker 1
Yeah. I mean, I don't think I've spoken to you individually about it. Have I?
Speaker 2
No, I don't think so. Not since you've done it. I don't think.
Speaker 1
Um, well, how do you want me to, do you want me to just go for a little chronological summary of my last month? Yes. Would
Speaker 2
that be good? I mean, yeah, you can take out just the traveling
Speaker 1
bits. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I wasn't, I was going to be pretty much just the climbing, eh? Or, or, or your breakfast you had. Oh, I didn't know. I've been having some pretty good breakfast. Yeah. Okay. So I think it was probably, um, yeah. Anyway, best part of the month ago. Okay. Over the winter. Oh, wait. Where should I start? Got back from, we've covered, I would climb in bird and claim, um, in last November. Came to, to Chino for a short trip to try midnight with Sean. Yes. He's spoken about that on podcast, right? Yeah, we did. Yeah. Um, I arrived back from that and that was a pretty like special trip for me in that like, um, I'd have like the two contrasts. So just a bit of backstory, but it feels relevant. So bear with me. Cause you probably know some of this. Um, I'd like stuck it out in Finland through some awful weather two and a half weeks. So just like condensed rock and then really cold, whatever. I was having skin problems and just like not really enjoying the actual in the moment, climbing sessions and definitely felt a little like, uh, rigid in my like goal setting. Um, because I'd had some like phases of like, quite organic, natural motivation that had inspired me to be like, right. Okay. I'm going to set myself this goal and I'm going to be quite disciplined to achieve it. Um, which I've often done in like many walks of life. I've done it a lot with my climbing, done it a lot with academia. So obviously though times when like discipline and like rigidity and your goal setting goes against the grain of like what you are enjoying in each moment. So essentially the clash between like ambition and passion, which I think maybe like my tolerance for has been quite strongly like on the ambition side at times. I've definitely always been quite fortunate in that I have had great passion for climbing. And so there have been very few scenarios where that has ever like felt to come, they've ever felt to like knock up against each other. Do you kind of get the idea that I'm saying? Yeah. We have like ambition within climbing and dreams. And then we have a passion for climbing. And at times when you set yourself very rigid goals, they miss a line. Yeah. Yeah. And you can dive fully out of your passion and just not want to be there, not be enjoying your experience. People can burn out. And it's probably more commonly seen like really long-term projects, right? But I imagine that's generally just the more time you spend outside of that passion, fueled path of climbing, like the more likely you are just to burn out and like lose interest. And yeah. And so I basically had been thinking about that quite a lot because that trip to Finland. And probably even more so my trip a year ago in spring when I was trying midnight, I was out to it for almost three months, were like both times where I really felt like a conflict between this goal setting and my real attachment to like kind of doing these things and my like passion for climbing. And so in the aftermath of that trip, it was quite a spontaneous like suggestion from Sean. He was like, oh, why didn't we just like climbing Switzerland and Italy and kind of just like see what we're keen to try kind of thing. So it's quite a spontaneous trip and I like gotten into it, I'll take it and just like zipped into Europe. And it was kind of like, I think two and a half weeks or so where we just like would wake up and see what we wanted to try. I felt no expectations from that trip. And yeah, it felt like really relaxed and it was a lot of fun. And it was really funny because it made me realize that a lot of the things that I were doing was quite like, wasn't necessarily like lots of the way I was approaching climbing and the ways in which it felt dissatisfied or kind of like maybe potentially problematic at times was actually independent from like what I was doing in each day today. But more like the attitude I was maybe bringing to it as well. It was interesting because when I was on that shorter trip in Tachino, I ended up trying the midnight project for like, I can't remember how many sessions we had and maybe like five, six sessions or something. As much as I'd been trying it when I was there in spring and feeling pretty burnt out and not necessarily wanting to be there, I didn't really feel like I'd have to be there if I didn't want to be. It was like only we were only there because it was like, okay, what can we climb on today? What do we want to climb on today? And we were pretty like inspired by it. And it was called Shurtshaun, like kind of like had a lot of energy to be trying it. And it was kind of interesting. Maybe this attitude of rigidly like sticking to what you've pre-prescribed for yourself is maybe like kind of sapping a bit of the just joy of climbing in moments. And obviously it's rare that that was like a nice scenario where I was, okay, this is a goal that I didn't want to do anyway. And I feel a lot of passion within it. But it was really nice to like kind of refine passion there in that project that I was inspired by. And it kind of like rekindled some motivation for it. But generally that trip made me like think and I like reflected over my year. And I kind of, I think like I do really want to explore this adventurous side of climbing where like I follow a bit, follow my motivations a little more. I feel like I have a, can be overly disciplined as well. And it's like confusing because I really like training. So a big part of that is obviously I train generally towards things. But there is a certain degree of just intrinsic love for training as well. And I like really get a lot out of the satisfaction of the training process. And it is all confusing because like I find like the process of self development quite satisfying, right rewarding in like a physical sense as well. So like it's quite hard to like figure out, but like I'm just kind of trying to be a little bit more relaxed about things. And that attitude has been quite nice. So on the back of that trip, I had loads of inspiration for the midnight project. And part of that had been is basically in like the year and a half before then I'd been trying it from like a, I've been trying actually from there's like a, there's like probably the two most obvious holds as like a really obvious left hand slot that just looks like it should be the start hold. And I kind of like was always trying it from there. But when I like was feeling close to doing it from a higher start, it's like kind of three moves in from that. I was essentially trying to like establish it from that. And quickly when Sean was trying it, I kind of had feelings about it, but he kind of agreed that it would be better if it was just open from one start. And the low one was more obvious. It's not actually a sit start there, kind of just face at me kind of thing. But he also couldn't reach that high start holds that I was using. So the like grind and siege that I put myself into a year ago was from the highest start. And I got pretty close to doing it from there. But it was cool to go back. And I mean, I've had a really hard summer of training and see a lot of like physical progression. And it felt like much steady in the moves felt much steady from there. And at the end of that trip in December, it kind of like felt feasible from the lower start, which was like kind of amazing. Because a year ago, when I was like trying that loads, it felt one of the hardest things that I'd put time into like where I was trying it from. And it just felt like pretty futuristic for me, a long way down the line in a style that I knew like suited me really well from the lower start. So it was like kind of really quite motivating to see that like physical progression as well. And so over the winter, that was kind of my main focus of training. And it was cool because generally you like climbing quite slowly and functioning on like small holds where you'd like find a lot of stability in positions. And like move quite statically, I find it quite like a satisfying style. And that is exactly what this midnight thing is. They're like really like, yeah, they're really small kind of like, they are kind of rounded but tiny. So you do put a lot of pressure on your fingertips as well. I'm not going to say it's good on your skin, but you don't think it's terrible. And then you I found that style really satisfying. And it was like really fun to train it. And I haven't really like found anything other than that project in a while, which is wow, okay. The thing I really need to get better at is all the stuff that I'm good at. And that's quite rare. And read to find that in like an outdoor climb that suits you so well. And it's a project you're inspired by. And I think it's a style which maybe hasn't been that represented in hard bouldering for a while as well. Generally, I don't know, in that such a pure kind of style, I haven't like seen so many things like that. And so yeah, that was pretty special to find. And I found like throughout the whole winter of training, I never really slowed down my motivation. Like I was just seeing progression in that, which was the first time I've like kind of really seen that in a while, was able to train like really hard. It kept being fun, which was amazing. The more I was training, the more fun I was having. And it was kind of like really nice. And I think a big part of that, sorry to mingle these stories together, was that in the past, often when I've had like a training season, they've been very distinct from my outdoor projecting season. So it's kind of been like a long trip. And then I'll have three more free form of training blocks. And usually I'd find I'd be like, chomping at the bit partway through the training block of being like, get me outside on the rocks kind of thing. Even if I'm like enjoying the training. But it was quite a special scenario. And definitely the most like content I've felt to be like living in the Lake District in more recent years. I definitely felt the most stability in living anywhere I have in the last few years, because there was this project at home, which is the hell violin projects now named spots of time. And I first found that May 2023. Just when I got back from Switzerland, I'd been like looking for a really ambitious project for a field, I'd found it in like midnight, and things like that. And then was really quite a burnt out from that. And then it was pretty special to like find it on my doorstep. And I think I'd been like exhausted from traveling and been looking a bit stability or feeling of home. And this boulder really this hell-velling project, the local project in the Lake District, which is the landscape I grew up in really like felt to like ground being in the lakes, because I can now like combine like my goals and objectives and training for that and the enjoyment that just in German enjoyment I have for training, whilst also like sassy or like scratching that itch of outdoor projecting and keeping like attuned to like climbing on rocks, like having like an experience of that projecting processor isn't like so artificially constructive. I don't like a lot of like psychological preparation in training blocks for like projects, but it's different to when you're actually trying a project. And so I was kind of able to like have that projecting like process go on alongside my training as well. And it kind of just felt like this little bubble of a real time of content. This winter, I mean, we've had some pretty terrible weather. Anyone in the UK will probably agree over this winter, have felt super happy to like be training in those wet spells and then the dry days, I'll go out and try this project. And I'm quite fortunate in that it's quite like finger intensive stylistically. It's kind of like different to midnight. You kind of on really quite small holds, but they're quite flat. And so you got to like kind of move relatively quickly between small flat hedges. So it doesn't like suit me per I don't actually know how well it suits me. I think part of it suits me well and that you're operating on small holds. But there are definitely things that don't that you've got to move quite quickly and be like quite a lot of contact strengths, some catch heels and things which haven't suit me so well. So and they ended up actually like not really using. It's hard to know exactly how well it suits me, but it was like kind of really nice to explore. It was kind of like a nice bit of variation in my style as well. You can't just solely stat it crimp the whole time. So anyway, I found this like very like harmonious balance between training and projecting that felt really special. And so actually the reason I called it spots of time was a few weeks before I did it. My good friend and former podcast guest, Hamish Pothka, came up to the lakes for reading week, me teachers and schools. And he actually sprained his ankle right at the start of the trip at the Bowdoin stone. And so it was on crutches. And so we were kind of just we did some board training. We figured out what to do. We went to the Wordsworth Museum because you can actually see word right on Mount Wordsworth's house, the house he grew up in, not grew up in he lived in from the house I grew up in. So it's like kind of right next to my house. Anyway, we went to the Wordsworth Museum, I was like reading some of his poems. And my mum had actually been reading this poem about spots of time. And there was obviously the poem, but then also like some description, I think a letter that Wordsworth wrote to Coleridge about this idea. And essentially, I think it's like relatively poetic and so up for interpretation, but kind of, it was kind of like presenting this idea of there are like distinct moments in our life, which kind of condense larger fields of learning, basically. And Wordsworth describing lots of these like being based around like experiences in the natural world. And I felt like it kind of encapsulated a lot of my process with this climate that I felt. I learned a lot about my like relationship with my like home landscape and like the places in which I climb in that I went, it took me about like I think about 30 days or something, this spots of time thing. And I became really familiar with the place. It felt like to really reconnect me back to the Lake District. And I felt just really content in my like nostalgic landscape. And so it was a little testament to that. So that's where the name spots of time came into it. And then yeah, so basically that process went pretty well. I kind of initially started trying in start of February, I think. And the first few sessions was kind of like dialing back in, kind of like learning some vague body tension again. And then I started, I knew I felt better on the holes. And so like as I start to learn the positions more, it's just start piecing together. And then I kind of had like some struggles with like bad weather. But yeah, in the end, it kind of came together quite nicely. And yeah, it's a pretty special experience. And it was actually quite funny in the aftermath of doing that. So I've mostly tried that bolder by myself. And it's very hard to tell how difficult it is for me because lots of time, I think it took me like 10 days to like figure out the sequence I had then used. And I was also initially trying it throughout summer, didn't really know how it suited me and then I changed my method quite a few times. So I kind of like really lost my bearings on it. But it was really like, it was quite special. And I had this similar experience on the midnight project in the, it was kind of strangely anti-climatic, but like also really comforting that it wasn't like this euphoric moment of like completion of this project. Like, I think, yeah, you referenced earlier, you spoke to me afterwards before you knew that I'd done it, we'd record the podcast and I think I told you afterwards or something. And I looked like pretty tired and pretty flat. And I think I was just physically very tired at those kind of point. It was kind of like quite nice to not feel like it was all bells and whistles. I like really loved the process of trying that client because it felt really special in that it was so local to me. It's like one of the most local quads that have that I knew that my family wrote, my family home is in the latest. I knew that I'd be spending a lot of time there in coming years. I felt like no rush to do it. I loved the fact that that project was there and that process was there whilst I was training that I almost didn't really necessarily want that process to not be there. I loved having it there, trying it. I really wasn't attached to doing it. I wanted to do it and there was like a completion of this project in process and obviously like you go with an objective to do this climb, but in terms of actually doing it, yeah,
Speaker 2
I loved it being there as a project.

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