How to Dry Your Asshole

I'm a big gnarly guy. I like to eat. Where are you on fruits and vegetables? I like them. It doesn't need a lot of vegetables. But do you take metamucil? No. There's hardly anything. Some people have clean sheets. Your sheets are not clean. And it's the skin cells that make it stink. Why not? You'd rather walk around with a wet, cold butthole than wash your ass in a bidet?" "My asshole sounds like Chewbacca, dude. And it looks like him, too" 'We spent 50% of the show talking about my asshole' - Pat Curnow.