What Do Your Colleagues Think of You?

When Emily Oster wrote an article for The Atlantic to suggest an amnesty in the pandemic wars, she received a shockingly sharp rebuke from those who weren’t ready to forgive. On the left, there were people who felt that the unvaccinated jeopardized untold lives; on the right, there were people still furious about the way they were treated for not going along with the lockdowns. But by that time, social media cancellations were a familiar ritual for Emily, who had already upset some souls with articles about school closures (she was against them) and the Covid risks faced by children (minor) relative to older people (less minor). Even though she was developing a thicker skin, the force of the response to the amnesty piece threw her a little. The worst part? She couldn’t tell from the angry emails who was who. “The thing that was in some ways incredibly sad about that reaction was I would get then so many emails, and they were all very mean, most of them. And sometimes I would start reading and I would just think, ‘I don’t even know which side you’re on.’ ”

When the pandemic struck, Emily was already well known as the author of the data-informed pregnancy and parenting books Expecting Better and Cribsheet, both of which have become wild bestsellers. But Covid only accelerated her ascent, as anxious parents turned to her for wisdom in navigating uncertain times. She started a Substack newsletter, ParentData, which has become a phenomenon in its own right, with more than 160,000 subscribers. The newsletter was a lifeline for many of its readers, who treated Emily like a trusted advisor or a friend. Those relationships reminded her that, even as the worst of the attacks rolled in via email and social media, she was making a positive difference in people’s lives. It gave her the confidence to say important and true things, even when there was a social cost to doing so. 

“There was a connection that was forged there that I think helped people in a time that was really hard, and I’m really proud that I got to do that,” Emily says. “I think that that is totally worth it from that standpoint. So I’m not sorry.”

https://www.parentdata.org/

Emily’s recommended reads:

https://whattocook.substack.com/

https://www.thenewfatherhood.org/

https://substack.com/profile/12430253-nellie-bowles

Show notes

Subscribe to ParentData on Substack

Find Emily on Twitter, Instagram, and her website

Emily’s writing in The Atlantic: on school closures and a pandemic amnesty

[02:41] Wanting to be a writer

[04:41] Writing Expecting Better

[07:15] The Amy Schumer moment

[09:22] Writing Cribsheet

[12:16] The tension of social media 

[14:41] Writing about Covid-19 and school closures

[18:33] The cost of being yelled at on Twitter

[21:32] Developing a thickened skin

[25:49] Writing The Atlantic piece 

[26:55] Dealing with abusive comments

[28:03] Humanizing both sides

[29:49] Learnings from the blowbacks

[32:09] Weighing up taking the heat

[35:25] The value of writing on Substack

[39:18] On going paid

[42:00] Academia and writing

[45:50] Teaching students

[49:00] Emily’s recommended reads

The Active Voice is a podcast hosted by Hamish McKenzie, featuring weekly conversations with writers about how the internet is affecting the way they live and write. It is produced by Hanne Winarsky, with audio engineering by Seven Morris, content production by Hannah Ray, and production support from Bailey Richardson. All artwork is by Joro Chen, and music is by Phelps & Munro.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit post.substack.com