Leading Yourself Before Leading Others

Tobi Emonts-Holley is a CEO, father of seven, and high-performance coach for fathers who want to thrive at home and at work without burning out.

In this episode, Tobi shares hard-earned insights about what it takes to be a true leader (and why leadership starts with humility, not ego), how to lead yourself in order to lead others, the power of building systems instead of relying on willpower, how to approach work-life balance and burnout when you can’t clock out, how he manages to stay present as a father and husband raising 7 kids and maintain a happy marriage—and how he manages to do all of this while also staying fit, building a huge social media following, and coaching other high-performers.

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CONNECT WITH Tobi Emonts-Holley:

http://hybrid-dad.com

http://instagram.com/tobi_emonts/

https://www.youtube.com/@tobi_emonts

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TOPICS DISCUSSED:

• Being a leader means transitioning from being a hard worker to a hard thinker - As you advance in leadership, your most important job becomes creating space to think strategically rather than executing tasks.
• Leading yourself is a prerequisite for leading others effectively - You can’t inspire or guide others until you've done the inner work to understand and manage your own insecurities and patterns.
• Self-respect is the root issue behind most fitness and time management failures - People who can't stick to exercise routines or boundaries often lack fundamental self-respect, not discipline or knowledge.
• Systems and boundaries allow you to be present with family while maintaining performance - Having structured work processes and protected personal time allows you to be fully present during family moments without sacrificing professional output.
• Different life areas can elevate each other rather than compete - Morning workouts improve emotional stability for parenting, better work boundaries create more family time, and strategic thinking enhances all areas of life.
• Parenting is about raising future adults, not managing current children - The decisions you make about screen time, work ethic, and presence today shape the adults your children will become.
• Stillness and uninterrupted thinking time are competitive advantages for leaders - Taking walks without distractions and creating protected space for deep thought leads to better decision-making across all life domains.

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TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 From Volunteer to CEO

07:30 Setting Healthy Boundaries When You’re Always On

11:38 Productivity Myths and How to Have It All

26:40 The Power of Stillness

34:52 Leadership Myths vs. Reality

45:03 How Leaders Deal with Self-Doubt

48:20 Why You Have to Lead Yourself to Lead Others

55:54 Tobi’s 10-Year Vision and His Definition of True Success

1:00:53 Breaking Generational Patterns

1:10:02 Parenting Advice from a Father of 7

1:22:06 Tobi’s Creator Journey

1:28:37 The Hybrid Dad Philosophy

1:43:14 Final Thoughts

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SOCIAL LINKS:

Website: https://coreywilkspsyd.com/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@coreywilkspsyd

Substack: https://substack.com/@coreywilkspsyd

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/coreywilkspsyd/

Twitter: https://x.com/CoreyWilksPsyD

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/coreywilkspsyd/

Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/coreywilkspsyd.bsky.social

Disclaimers: The content provided is for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes only. Nothing here constitutes personal or professional consultation, treatment, diagnosis, or creates a professional-client relationship.