I was remembering an image that I've seen many times and it's two guys and they're both digging for gold. They can't see where the gold is buried right now so one guy quits the other guy keeps digging until he eventually gets to it. The guy who quit quit when he was this close right? So you might again like where I've been most frustrated in my powerlifting career  and again I keep going back to that because it's the most recent thing I was this close just felt like man I'm so frustrated if I just you know again it would be me protecting my ego but then I'm going to deal with the pain of what would have happened if I