How to Date a Lesbian

I hate FaceTime. I don't answer them. They're like oh my god that's aggressive. It depends on who it is. My oldest son goes to school at Syracuse so we FaceTime a lot. If we could choose to be lesbians and marry each other we would. We want her to become a lesbian. She gets along better with women than men. Women are leaving heterosexual life in large numbers right now. And then finally. Pump's a single. Oh yeah ready to mingle. Wait how do we get? How do we get. I'm a terrible dater.