Humorous Banter on Player Performance and Pronunciation

2 hours and 40 minutes

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1. Offense vs New Mexico

Starts at 1:00

When's the last time you've ever seen an offensive lineman run away from a fight? Probably the funniest thing all night. New Mexico came out like they wanted to make a statement for a new era of New Mexico, and they may have an endless well of College Crappe that they can run. Let's talk about Bryce Underwood, it took one game for Brian to become a believer. Bryce just turned 18 but we're making critiques that you would make about juniors and seniors. He's got a thing for parabolic arcs. We're finally seeing the Semaj Morgan we hoped to see when he was a sophomore. The whole stadium stopped and turned to Brian on the play action pass to Max Bredeson. Bryce is very accurate when he can throw in the pocket, if Channing Goodwin hadn't put his hands up the ball would've just gotten stuck in his facemask. They're not running Bryce but then he's throwing a monster block with his throwing shoulder. Offensive line kept Bryce from getting lit up so that's a W, especially against a couple decent transfer edges. So was Justice Haynes worth the price? Overall, Channing Goodwin was encouraging. Fred Moore had a bad drop. 

[The rest of the writeup and the player after THE JUMP] 

2. Defense vs New Mexico

Starts at 51:04

A little tricky to grade the defense. They gave up some stuff but some of it was aided by the officials. Wink seemed to struggle with the College Crappe a bit, but Ohio State doesn't run that and you need Wink to beat Ohio State. QB Jack Layne was a fearless dawg who kept getting back up all game. Michigan had a lot of rotation all game. Brandyn Hillman hit a guy hard enough that you didn't need Grapentine to tell you who it was, Jyaire Hill got beat. Enow Etta played more than was expected. Seth got deported from the Vatican once. Jaishawn Barham is probably the worst person to get hit by on this team. The defensive line doesn't have a superstar but it's deep like the 2022 line. 

3. Hot Takes, Game Theory, and Special Teams

Starts at 1:17:56

Takes hotter than Michigan Stadium after Jaishawn Barham got ejected. Michigan punted on 4th and 1 on their own 49, three thumbs down. Andrew Marsh fumbled a kickoff and hesitated on one he brought out but he's a true freshman so it is what it is, it'll get better. Hudson Hollenbeck was fine, there's room for improvement. Discussing the targeting call, note that this was recorded before the "upheld" decision. Oops, we've been pronouncing "Sprague" wrong apparently. Maybe we midwesternized his name. 

4. Around the Big Ten with Jamie Mac

Starts at 1:58:00

There are too many Big Ten teams so there are fewer notes for some games.

Purdue 31, Ball State 0

Maryland 39, FAU 7
The Maryland freshman QB looks pretty decent. Total yardage was somehow even.

Penn State 46, Nevada 11
Penn State might be a boring team to watch until they play Oregon.

Iowa 34, Albany 7
The Iowa QB was still pretty pedestrian.

Oregon 59, Montana State 13

USC 73, Missouri State 13
Welcome to the FBS, Missouri State.

Illinois 52, Western Illinois 3

Northwestern 3, Tulane 23
Preston Stone had -42 rushing yards. The Northwestern head coach says to "believe in this quarterback".

Indiana 27, Old Dominion 14
This Indiana team feels less explosive compared to last year.

Washington 38, Colorado State 21
Jonah Coleman had 177 rushing yards on 24 carries, the Huskies are looking more explosive this season. They could be Pacific Chaos Team but their defense is still suspect. 

Utah 43, UCLA 10
"Committing to UCLA is telling on yourself", Nico Iamaleava was 11/22 for 136 yards, 1TD/1INT. UCLA is still who they've been. Utah was 14/16 on 3rd down conversions.

Michigan State 23, Western Michigan 6
Michigan State struggled to stop Western's edges. 138 yards in the last nine drives isn't great. MSU did get a 21-0 lead early, though.

Rutgers 34, Ohio 31
Not a great start for Rutgers. Overall, an exciting game.

Minnesota 23, Buffalo 10
This is much more of a blowout than the score indicates. Minnesota QB is 19/35 for 290 yards (2TD/1INT). Buffalo is a good MAC team, too.

Wisconsin 17, Miami (Oh) 0
Billy Edwards is injured and Wisconsin struggled to move the ball. But Miami struggled more.

Nebraska 20, Cincinnati 17
Dylan Raiola was 33/42 for 243 yards but it was mostly to the backs. Former Indiana QB Brendan Sorsby was the Cincy QB that threw the final interception. Half the event was that Taylor Swift was here.

Ohio State 14, Texas 7
336 yards for Texas, 203 for Ohio State. The Buckeyes can't really run the ball. There was some "oh no" from the Ohio State fans. Texas got stopped four times on 4th down, twice inside the 10. Texas also has two massive facemask penalties. Ohio State also had weird drops from the receivers. When's the last time Ohio State had less than 200 yards of offense?

MUSIC:

• "Sunday Eve"—Bonnie Calista
• "Spin Me Around"—The Marias
• "River Song"—Dennis Wilson
• “Across 110th Street”—JJ Johnson and his Orchestra