A Profound Shared Death Experience

What if I told you that death is not an end, but an exquisite unfolding—an elegant, natural transition, much like birth? We arrive in this world gasping for breath, and when it is time to leave, we do so with a final sigh, a great exhale into the unknown. In today’s episode, we welcome Julie McFadden, a hospice nurse whose experiences on the front lines of death have given her an intimate understanding of the great departure. Her journey has taken her from the high-intensity world of ICU nursing, where medicine fights tooth and nail to preserve life, to the quiet wisdom of hospice care, where she has learned that letting go is often more profound than holding on.One of the great paradoxes of our time is how we treat death as an adversary rather than a companion. Julie McFadden shared how, as an ICU nurse, she was surrounded by a culture that viewed death as failure. Machines beeping, frantic attempts at resuscitation, and families holding on to every last shred of hope—even when the body itself was pleading to let go. It wasn’t until she stepped into hospice care that she realized something miraculous: the body knows how to die. It prepares itself for the journey. Hunger and thirst fade, energy dims, and a natural peace takes hold. “Dying itself is not painful,” she explained. “It’s the diseases that cause pain, but the process of dying is something the body knows how to do. If we just allow it, it can be peaceful.”But there is more to death than biology. There is something unspoken, something mysterious at play. One of the most profound experiences Julie McFadden has had is what is known as a shared death experience. She recalled a beloved patient, a man who had lived with anxiety and isolation for most of his life, but in his final months found peace through hospice care.

The day he passed, as she sat in her car, she suddenly felt an overwhelming surge of joy and liberation. She could hear his voice, see his beaming smile, and sense his astonishment. “Oh my gosh, Julie. If I only would have known!” he kept repeating. The feeling was one of weightlessness, as if he were soaring into a vast and loving expanse. Moments later, her phone buzzed. The message confirmed what she already knew: he had just passed away.These moments, unexplainable by science yet deeply felt by those who witness them, are common in hospice care. Patients report seeing deceased loved ones weeks before they die, often expressing excitement rather than fear. “They don’t come to scare us,” she said. “They come to let us know we’re not alone in this.” These visions are not hallucinations from medication or oxygen deprivation—this phenomenon happens too frequently, too consistently, to be dismissed. Perhaps, then, what we call ‘death’ is simply a return to the home we have long forgotten.And what of those who fear death? Julie McFadden believes that much of our dread comes from the unknown, but the more we talk about it, the less power it has over us. Planning for death, embracing its certainty, does not hasten it—it simply makes it more graceful. “We plan everything—vacations, weddings, careers—but we refuse to plan for death. Why?” she asked. The answer, of course, is fear. But just as birth is a passage into form, death is a passage out of it. Nothing more, nothing less.

SPIRITUAL TAKEAWAYS

1. Death is not the enemy. It is a process as natural as breathing, and when we embrace it rather than resist it, it can be a peaceful transition.
2. Love is the only thing that matters. In the end, it’s not achievements or wealth that hold meaning, but the presence of loved ones, the quiet moments of care, and the tenderness of human connection.
3. We are never truly alone. Shared death experiences, visions of loved ones, and near-death encounters all point to the same reality: there is something beyond, something awaiting us with open arms.

So perhaps, instead of fearing death, we should sit with it, invite it in for tea, and ask it what it has to teach us. After all, the great cosmic joke is that death was never an ending—it was always a beginning.

Please enjoy my conversation with Julie McFadden.

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