Being with Busyness Q&A, Part Two (Episode #78)
The Way Out Is In
The Hunger for Validation and the Path to Self-Love
The chapter delves into the struggles of self-loathing and perfectionism, illustrating how these feelings can cause overwhelm and burnout. It introduces the 'hungry ghost' concept, highlighting the need for self-acceptance and internal fulfillment as solutions to the relentless craving for external validation.
Welcome to episode 78 of The Way Out Is In: The Zen Art of Living, a podcast series mirroring Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh’s deep teachings of Buddhist philosophy: a simple yet profound methodology for dealing with our suffering, and for creating more happiness and joy in our lives.
This special episode – part two of two Q&A installments – marks the launch of the first book by Zen Buddhist monk Brother Phap Huu and leadership coach/journalist Jo Confino. Being with Busyness: Zen Ways to Transform Overwhelm and Burnout is intended to help readers navigate these experiences, relieve stress, and reconnect to their inner joy through mindfulness and compassion practices inspired by Thich Nhat Hanh.
Instead of discussing the book, the two presenters asked listeners to submit their questions on these timely topics. Listeners’ generous, vulnerable questions answered in this episode include: What are some practical tips for staying grounded and mindful amidst the busyness? How can I get back into practicing mindfulness? How can I practice mindfulness while doing multiple things at once? How can I be of service to others while still caring for myself? How can busy people know when it’s enough and draw a line? How does Plum Village deal with the burnout issues that also exist in the outside world?
Co-produced by the Plum Village App:
https://plumvillage.app/
And Global Optimism:
https://globaloptimism.com/
With support from the Thich Nhat Hanh Foundation:
https://thichnhathanhfoundation.org/
List of resources
Interbeing
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interbeing
Being with Busyness
https://www.parallax.org/product/being-with-busyness
The Way Out Is In: ‘Being with Busyness Q&A, Part One (Episode #77)’
https://plumvillage.org/podcast/being-with-busyness-qa-part-one-episode-77
The Miracle of Mindfulness: An Introduction to the Practice of Meditation
https://www.parallax.org/product/the-miracle-of-mindfulness
Pema Chödrön
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pema_Ch%C3%B6dr%C3%B6n
Start Where You Are
https://pemachodronfoundation.org/product/start-where-you-are-book/
Sister Chan Khong
https://plumvillage.org/about/sister-chan-khong
‘Three Resources Explaining the Plum Village Tradition of Lazy Days’
https://plumvillage.app/three-resources-explaining-the-plum-village-tradition-of-lazy-days/
Dharma Talks: ‘The Fours Pillars of Spiritual Life’
https://plumvillage.org/library/dharma-talks/the-four-pillars-of-spiritual-life-dharma-talk-by-sr-dang-nghiem
Bodhisattva
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bodhisattva
Quotes
“The Buddha explains that each and every one of us has an island within us that we have to tend and take care of. That island is our way of being, our calm that we can bring to the chaos. And it doesn’t mean that our surroundings are calm, but that we are calm inside. Even just a slice of calmness can relieve everything that is happening around us.”
“The art of a meditator among busyness is to not be dispersed or carried away. When we are dispersed and carried away, we have the ability to come back to that island of practice. And this is an ongoing practice that we can all develop. We develop it when we’re at peace, when we have calm, when there is stillness.”
“Our mindfulness is what we’re cultivating in our mind at the present moment.”
“When you’re washing your plate, that is a moment when you’re just washing your plate, not thinking about the next project; that is mindfulness.”
“The spiritual dimension is an old technology. It’s free and can be practiced from day one, right now, right here.”
“Letting go in the space of Dharma is to grow and to have freedom. But if we’re to let go, to give up, that’s a different energy. So we also have to know that taking a step back to have more space, and then continuing, is also okay.”
“People have dual problems. One is that they have self-loathing; the other is that they wish for perfectionism. In other words, not only do we not feel we’re enough, but we often don’t like ourselves. And then, on the other end of the spectrum, we’re trying to be perfect. That is the perfect storm for overwhelm and burnout.”
“A hungry ghost: never satisfied and always desperate.”
“The idea that there is a perfection to mindfulness is a wrong view because it doesn’t embrace the insight of non-duality: that suffering and happiness lean on each other. So imperfection and perfection play their part in life, in meditation, in love, in joy, and in community.”
“Two people can share the same bed, but if they don’t share the same dreams then there’s no foundation for that relationship.”
“When your generosity is no longer there and you don’t have any more to give, you have to rebuild. So the Buddha teaches that we have to learn to take care of the island within us. We have to know how to understand our capacity; this is very difficult.”
“Being able to witness what’s going on in the world and also maintain our own sense of love, self-love, and love for the world is so important.”
“The work of temples is never done.”
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