The Importance of Connection in Relationships

When we're accommodating ambivalence, it's because we learned somewhere to accommodate ambivalence. Was our parent hot cold? Did we learn that we had to accommodate their inability to be close and then push away or their lack of capacity for intimacy? How was that normalized in your life and in your relationships? When you were a child, did you experience hot cold from a parent? Did you experience a lack of clarity or you didn't know where you fit?" "If you tolerate ambivalence," she says, "it means you have to create the belief in yourself that you're worthy"

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