The Codependency Part of a Relationship

I think the idea of codependency for me is your definition of yourself becomes fully encased with another person. I don't know if it's healthy to define your entire existence as one thing. The term feels so 90s to me and something about it just smells like a pink self-help book and it bugs me. And you only need an codependent relationship. You really only, especially if we take out the idea of abuse,. but there's one person who's carrying a huge load of make, trying to make things work.