You have this line in the book that i highlighted more than anything else, and it's the line you use to kick off a versation like this. Two sentences, you you write, i think i'm seeing some behavior that i believe is getting in your way. Are you in a spot where you can hear that right now? And i read that nght, thought, wild. That is really brilliant as an entry point. Tell me a bit about the psychology behind phrasing it that way.
Russ Laraway: When They Win, You Win
Russ has had a diverse 28 year operational management career. He was a Company Commander in the Marine Corps before starting his first company, Pathfinders. From there, Russ went to the Wharton School, and then onto management roles at Google and Twitter. He then co-founded Candor, Inc., along with best selling author and past guest Kim Scott.
Over the last several years, Russ served as the Chief People Officer at Qualtrics, and is now the Chief People Officer for the fast-growing venture capital firm, Goodwater Capital, where he is helping Goodwater and its portfolio companies to empower their people to do great work and be totally psyched while doing it. He's the author of the book When They Win, You Win: Being a Great Manager Is Simpler Than You Think*.
It’s the job of every leader to give feedback. In this episode, Russ and I discuss what to say and what to avoid when giving feedback. Plus, we explore how to think about truth and the most effective ways to start and close feedback conversations in order to help everybody move forward.
Key Points
Avoid spending too much time talking about the impending conversation and just have the conversation.
Use language like this: “I think I’m seeing some behavior that I believe is getting in your way. Are you in a spot where you can hear that right now?”
Use the framework of situation, behavior/work, and impact in order to organize your feedback.
Invite dialogue by asking: “What are your thoughts about that?”
Avoid framing feedback discussions around “the truth” — there are always multiple truths in every discussion like this. You are offering them what you see.
Resources Mentioned
When They Win, You Win: Being a Great Manager Is Simpler Than You Think* by Russ Laraway
When They Win, You Win website
Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
Three Steps to Soliciting Feedback, with Tom Henschel (episode 107)
Three Steps to Great Career Conversations, with Russ Laraway (episode 370)
How to Balance Care and Accountability When Leading Remotely, with Jonathan Raymond (episode 464)
How to Reduce Bias in Feedback, with Therese Huston (episode 510)
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