The Freudian Fixation of a Relationship

Let's say something terrible happened to you when you were 11 and you really didn't get past it. When you revisit that, you can bring to bear on the situation all those new faculties that you have as an adult. So maybe your dad was mean to you but now you know he had a history of depression and that he was beat up badly at the hands of his father. How is that helpful? It's hard to say how that might be helpful because maybe they're angry about something that happened when you were four. Right. Well, hopefully you're more verbally astute and you have more analytic and practical tools at your disposal now.