Topping for Suffering

A lot of the suffering that I do as a top with my partner is when they're in chastity and specifically about denial like for example if we've had Like a whole long phone sex scene where they've been like going down on me. Those are the hardest moments for me as a top because they're like they sound so genuinely sad and like disappointed even though I know from many conversations we've had that they like that feeling. The most important thing is communication um a lot of people are scared to communicate because of shame or embarrassment would have you but it's really really important to just have those conversations that are like hey so I noticed when I do this thing to you you like wince