The Sea Turtles Like the Straws

A study was just in about sea turtle despondency. It turns out they like the straws. I'm still asking for straws too. Is that okay? This is the things that, is it? No, why not? Tell me why not. They're not made of plastic anymore. Not the cellulose ones, those are supposed to dissolve. Either we should ban plastic straws and let all the other ones through, right? If it's for the turtles, or we can all admit it's just a little way to go like, me, shit the fuck up. All right. That's enough. We're going to do these every quarter until I weep on stage

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