407. Radical Listening with Robert Biswas-Diener
Psychologists Off the Clock
The Essential Skills of Intentional Listening
This chapter explores the importance of intentional listening in communication, outlining six key skills necessary for improvement. It offers strategies for mental focus and environmental setup to enhance genuine engagement in conversations.
Today’s episode is one you’re really going to want to lean into because Michael is talking all about radical listening with Robert V. Biswas-Diener.
If you’ve ever felt like traditional ‘active listening’ just doesn’t cut it, this conversation is going to open your ears and your mind in a whole new way.
They chat about key ideas from Robert and his coauthor Christian Van Nieuwerburgh's book, Radical Listening: The Art of True Connection, such as why traditional active listening often falls short and what it means to really show up for someone through listening with intention, how to adapt your listening style depending on the situation, how culture can shape communication, and why staying curious might be one of the most powerful tools in your toolbox.
This conversation is for anyone who wants to have deeper, more meaningful conversations with friends, coworkers, or anyone you care about!
Listen and Learn:
- Why does radical listening go beyond traditional active listening, and how does focusing on intention transform the way we pay attention in conversations?
- How does your listening intention, whether to validate, learn, or fix, shape what specific cues and details you focus on during a conversation?
- How can well-intentioned behaviors like comparing, competing, or offering advice become obstacles to effective listening and connection?
- The importance of aligning your listening intention with the speaker's intention to create a true connection in a conversation
- How you can use internal and external skills, like calming your mind or staying present, to become a better listener
- Noticing different types of silence to help you understand what's really happening in a conversation
- Understanding cultural differences, and letting go of the “awkward pause” to help you listen more openly
- How you can accept someone’s perspective without agreeing with it, and still create a more respectful and open conversation
- Why the way you ask questions matters, and why you want to ask ones that help the other person open up, not just satisfy your own curiosity
- How can interjecting, when done thoughtfully, show deep engagement in a conversation without being rude?
Resources:
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Radical Listening: The Art of True Connection: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781523007196 Robert's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robert-biswas-diener-a860289/
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Robert’s websites https://robertdiener.com/ and https://positiveacorn.com/
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Christian’s website: https://coachonamotorcycle.com/
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https://relationalriffs.substack.com/p/why-listening-is-a-superpower
About Robert Biswas-Diener:
Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener is a researcher, author, and consultant with 75 peer-reviewed academic articles, and he has over 27,000 citations.
His previous books include The Upside Of Your Dark Side (New York Times bestseller, 2014) and the 2007 prose award winner, Happiness.
He has presented keynotes to Lululemon, Deloitte, Humana, AARP, The World Bank, and others.
In 2024, Thinkers50 named Robert one of the “50 most influential executive coaches in the world”.
He lives in Portland, Oregon, enjoying drawing and rock climbing.
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