The goal here is connection. And if we're like holding back because our spouse is supposed to give it to us, that's not a connection. If we're using masturbation as a way to punish or disconnect from our spouse,. That's not a problem. In secret. Or doing it instead of because sex with your spouse is too vulnerable and turning away from intimacy and connection. I love being able to come together as partners and talk about what masturbation might look like in your marriage. Even if your spouse doesn't agree.

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