Why Questions Produce the Worst Outcomes

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The most commonly accepted introspective process has a lot of questions that start with why. So i might say, why do we keep fighting about how to unload the dish washer? Or why is our relationship so full of conflict? And those are all really well intentioned questions,. We ask them in order to get insight. But there's a couple of problems with why questions that make it really insidious.

Imagine someone just pointed out you have something stuck in your teeth. A comment like that would probably make most of us self-conscious, but you’d probably be grateful for the heads up if you were about to head into a meeting. Now imagine that situation but with higher stakes, like your attitude at work or the way you behave with your partner. What would happen if we went through life unaware of how we are perceived? In today’s episode, organizational psychologist Tasha Eurich talks about what self-awareness even is and why seeking out what others see in you can be in your best interest. She also shares exercises to get to know yourself and your values, and why this knowledge is an important part of achieving your goals. Tasha is an executive coach and author of the book “Insight: The Surprising Truth About How Others See Us, How We See Ourselves, and Why the Answers Matter More Than We Think” (Currency, 2018). Her work has been featured in Harvard Business Review, The New York Times, and The Wall Street Journal. To learn more about "How to Be a Better Human," host Chris Duffy, or find footnotes and additional resources, please visit: go.ted.com/betterhuman