"I was a guy but my parents raised me right at a great school great teachers everything was good this wasn't I went to college and I was checking the box," he said. "The little TV on the little you know roller cart TV they plugged it in it was October 93 and I watch a Bill Cleveland get dragged to the streets of Somalia and I felt like a complete fraud." He added: "One thing that I never understood about soldiering was how important a avenging losses is for your morale what that means for a family"