Major Tom Schueman, The Man Enough Podcast’s first war veteran and active duty military guest, discusses male friendship, positive masculine characteristics that are not binary or the property of men alone, how being trained to be alert all the time on the battlefield can make it hard to be vulnerable and present in the rest of life, how knowing how to handle any kind of physical wound does not prepare you to address emotional or psychological wounds, and his belief that we need to learn how to reintegrate warriors back into society after combat like Native Americans and the Spartans used to do. Ultimately, he believes that healthy manhood is rooted in finding purpose and serving something greater than yourself.

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Timecodes:

00:00 Episode Tease: how learning to be alert all the time can prevent you from missing out on the fullness of life

01:39 Jamey and Liz talk about the mission of positive masculinity and their own journeys

02:58 Introducing Major Tom Schueman

06:38 Major Tom and Zak’s (Afghan translator) Friendship

10:43: Being Deliberate with Friendships

13:05 Positive Masculinity - Attributes are not binary/exclusive to men

16:39 The Mental Tax Of Violent Work

27:51 Post War Stress and Reintegration

32:14 Embracing Vulnerability

45:11 Breaking The “Dumb Dad” Stereotype

53:05 What Does It Mean To Be Man Enough?

About Major Tom Schueman:

During his 15 years in military service so far, Major Tom Schueman served as a platoon commander in Afghanistan for 16 months. Tom was awarded a Purple Heart after he and others were ambushed in a field on Nov. 9, 2010. He then went on to get his masters in English Literature at Georgetown University, and currently teaches English literature at the U.S. Naval Academy in Annapolis, Maryland, where he remains on active duty. Tom met Zainullah "Zak" Zaki, an Afghan translator who was embedded with the platoon he commanded in Afghanistan. Schueman and Zak quickly became “family.”

Read _Always Faithful_

Major Tom and Zak co-wrote a book titled _Always Faithful_, telling the full story of the divergent paths that led them to work together in Afghanistan, the dangerous road they walked together in service to America, and how their commitment to each other ended up saving both their lives, literally.

Major Tom Quotes:

“Male friendships…take commitment and consistency. We often think we’re too busy. No relationship will flourish unless it’s watered and fed.”

“What I view as some of the positive masculine traits are self-composure, equanimity...I think one of the most desirable traits of a man is someone who is self-composed.”

“I don’t view [traits] as binary or mutually exclusive…I’m not saying that it’s not feminine or women can’t do those things...When I talk about my hero, my mother, she exhibited many of these - what we would characterize as masculine traits - and did it exceedingly well.”

Guest Social Links:

IG: @kill.z0n3

Man Enough book: https://manenough.com/books

Boys Will Be Human book: https://boyswillbehuman.com

FOLLOW THE HOSTS:

Liz Plank

Jamey Heath

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