Do You Have a Daughter Who Doesn't Do the Splits?

I think if you're going to do the splits, you're meant to do them after half an hour of warming up and I'm pretty sure that doesn't involve any points. You know the horrific thing is, oh my god, this is the, you know what the most disgusting thing in the world is mothers who are competitive with their daughters. She's a really good gymnast and every time she does something, go, yes, I used to do that. And I'm an arsehole. It's the worst. So when he says live from the Soho Theatre in London, you will break into spontaneous applause. Shappy is going to bring you to a climax because she

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