6min chapter

ReThinking cover image

The science of healthy relationships with John and Julie Gottman

ReThinking

CHAPTER

The Horsemen and Stone-Walling

Adam Sobel: I've long been fascinated by all of these horsemen, and pretty much everyone I know has drawn on it in one relationship or another. He says criticism is the hardest to expunge because we all love defensiveness. Sobel: We teach them how to overcome criticism by describing their own feelings. "A positive need is really important to describe"

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