6min chapter

We Can Do Hard Things cover image

179. How to Fix Our Loneliness with Dr. Marisa G. Franco

We Can Do Hard Things

CHAPTER

What's Your Attachment Style?

Dr. Franco: Our attachment style is basically the sum total of our earlier relationships that have created within us this template for how we assume people will treat us. We don't actually know what's going on, so whatever our template is telling us and reaching for in light of this ambiguity is the ways that friendship actually impacts us. For example, anxiously attached people tend to sacrifice themselves to be in relationship with other people because they feel like they need to otherwise people will leave them. And then you have avoidantly attached people who basically don't trust anyone. They're putting in so much, but yet their relationships are blowing up as well.

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