Nine type, people-pleasing and breakup

In this episode I chat with Joe Bielling, a Level 3 IFS practitioner, licensed therapist, and co-author of From Broken to Badass. We talk about what happens when coping, adapting, and belonging slowly pull us away from ourselves, and how to find your way back.

Joe shares parts of his personal story, including a period he describes as a mental breakdown and spiritual awakening, and how IFS helped him slow down, notice his parts, and reconnect with his body, heart, and Self Energy.

We discuss:

• Self-forgetting, people-pleasing, and the "chameleon" strategies of belonging

• How Enneagram dynamics show up in relationships and identity

• Unblending as both a psychological process and a spiritual experience

• Why "the resistance is actually part of the path"

• How IFS and non-duality can point to more than either-or thinking

• Why staying "broken" can feel safer to some parts of us

• Gratitude for coping strategies before trying to change them

• The question underneath it all: Who is the one behind my eyes?

Extended Substack Conversation

In the extended interview over on Substack, Joe and I talk about hope, embodiment, trauma, and the Enneagram centers. Joe shares what helps him stay embodied now and where he's finding hope.

About Joe Bielling

Joe Bielling is a licensed therapist and Level 3 IFS practitioner. He is the co-author with Kate West of From Broken to Badass, a practical IFS based book that helps people break free from high level coping strategies, and old outdated survival patterns, into empowered living. Their work brings together Internal Family Systems, nervous system science, and to help people find real freedom through embodied presence. Joe is also the founder of Unify Yourself — a national collaboration platform exploring the intersection of spirituality, psychology, and community.

This episode is sponsored by the Unblend.me web app. You know those moments between sessions when something comes up and you need a gentle nudge to pause, slow down and go inside? The Unblend app helps you do just that. It's IFS informed, HIPAA compliant, and guides you through checking in with your parts to calm your nervous system. Learn more and try it for free at Unblend.me

I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do.

• Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, extended interviews, meditations, and more.

• Find Self-Led merch at The One Inside store.

• Listen to episodes and watch clips on YouTube.

• Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger.

I co-create The One Inside with Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS practitioner and coach.

• New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start.

• Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get "Get to Know a Should Part" right away.

Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy.