I was treating him how politicians and the news outlets treat immigrants. So I was believing them and that also affected how I viewed my nine year old self. And slowly I was like, no, hold up. This kid is a gangster. He survived the unsurvivable. He really knew how to survive rarely, rarely have I heard that term survivor be attached to immigrants. These refugees have survived something; these immigrants have survived the thousands of miles as they cross Mexico. They've survived the desert...and using that term has really unpacked a lot of things for me. That gave me agency and having that agency is the beginning of learning to love myself.