The Deathbed of Mindfulness

I used to imagine that I had six months to live or 12 months to live. Now, I have this sort of 60 month sort of deathbed. For me, meditation has been an effective tool for calming myself and not being buffeted about by emotion and anxiety. When I see that happening, I haven't yet reached the point where I can just sort of summon it on demand, which I could see as very desirable.