i have been processing this since thanksgiving, because i knew about it the day it happened. The thing that gets reinforced is the utter and complete unpredictability of it all,. And in that context, a recognizing that it's really easy for one, for a human, to defer reality, or rower deny reality. Why tand ad we constantly, as you get older, it gets different, but it's still, iam only fifty five, you know, to whatever rit.