Validation Ladder: 8 Skills That Build Incredible Relationships | Dr. Caroline Fleck
The Art of Charm
Building Connections through Emotional Intelligence and Proposal Skills
This chapter highlights the significance of emotional intelligence and communication in effective leadership. It introduces the skill of 'proposing' to help articulate unspoken feelings, fostering a deeper connection and understanding within teams.
In today’s episode, we’re joined by Dr. Caroline Fleck—licensed psychologist, corporate consultant, and Stanford adjunct. With years of clinical practice and executive coaching under her belt, Dr. Fleck has developed powerful validation techniques that help high performers build authentic relationships and navigate complex conversations. Her groundbreaking work, detailed in her new book, Validation, transforms the way professionals connect both personally and professionally.
Join us for a compelling conversation with Dr. Caroline Fleck as she reveals why the art of validation is your secret weapon—and how embracing vulnerability, strategic empathy, and even unconventional self-disclosure can transform your leadership. Dr. Fleck shares proven insights from her work in clinical psychology and executive coaching, and explains why emotional intelligence is your ultimate edge in today's fast-paced world.
What to Listen For
Introduction – 00:00:00
- Why is validation psychology’s best-kept secret—and how is it different from praise or agreement?
The Eight Levels of Validation – 00:04:10
- What are the eight levels of validation, and how do they build on each other to create emotional depth and rapport?
- Why is attending the foundation of every meaningful interaction—and how can you practice it today?
- What makes copying such a surprisingly powerful way to signal connection and build trust?
Contextualizing and Equalizing – 00:23:06
- How does contextualizing help you understand behavior that seems irrational or frustrating on the surface?
- What’s the key to equalizing without hijacking the conversation or minimizing the other person’s experience?
Proposing and Taking Action – 00:36:43
- How can you “listen to the unsaid” and use proposing to surface unspoken thoughts or emotions?
- How can misusing action harm relationships—and what should you do instead?
Emoting and Disclosure – 00:47:10
- Why is emoting such a powerful signal of empathy, and how can you practice it without feeling awkward?
- What makes disclosure the highest—and riskiest—form of validation, especially in professional settings?
- Why emotional intelligence is more essential than ever in the age of AI
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