4min chapter

We're Having Gay Sex cover image

Lexi (of Ultimatum: Queer Love) Drops Dough on Dildos | WHGS Ep. 180

We're Having Gay Sex

CHAPTER

The Ultimatum

I was with somebody I always felt comfortable with but we never like she was with somebody it never crossed that line it got it and Then it was like night after a forehead activity. It was tequila on tequila on Tequila a different type of Head activity and I was like what the fuck like we're living together. Oh no We have two apartments two dogs. What do we do so we like stopped and then we couldn't stop I was like, oh no, we're in love This is real bad. But you know what like you learn things about yourself you learnThings about what you need and don't need in a relationship Even just sexually too like being able to be with somebody

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Speaker 2
I love that as an example, because I forgot who shared the story, but there's the classic story of like, somebody going into a teacher going into like a first grade class and saying, all right, like, who here in the class is good at singing? And like, everybody like raises their hand, right? Like kids are naturally creative. They want to be creative. They want to attempt to do stuff. They want to do things like that. And then as you go up the grades, you know, less and less hands or, you know, raised and everything like that. And I love that example that, you know, even if somebody's going to count into numbers as their thing, creativity could be showed up outside of your profession. It doesn't have to always be your job. It could be anything. And it could be your job. It could be a creative approach to solving a problem that wasn't that you didn't see previously or working with a more creative team. There's so many, like, there's so many people who in a way, almost don't even feel like they're deserving of having some of that joy through their profession or even in their life as a whole. And I think that kids recognize in a way that, no, joy is actually a part of life. Like, I want to have joy. I want to have play. And doing this work is a big part of re-stepping back into that and having more fun being more into your body. So, I'm excited for people to go down that journey. Are there any tools now as we get into that, like, people often will ask that same question, well, I don't know what I want to do. I don't know what I actually like. Are there any ways they can start to notice that, tap into it, any tools in the workbook that you've put together that are good at catching these sections where it's like, oh, wow, here's a little thread that I should pull on of something that I actually want to give a little bit more attention to in
Speaker 1
my life. I think revisiting for some of us, it's revisiting what we used to like to do and have gotten away from. I think so many of us have that disconnection that we might not be able to locate now, though, if it was something that was important to us in childhood. And for whatever reason, we stopped or weren't able to pursue it. I think kind of exploring and revisiting kind of what once was joyful or, you know, fun or creative for us can be a really great place to revisit. And I think sometimes it can be a matter of just, you know, pausing and giving ourselves the space to wonder. I think a lot of times, especially as we age into adulthood, if we don't immediately know, we go into this self shaming mode and don't even give ourselves the opportunity to try things on for size. I mean, if there wasn't the childhood thing that maybe even pops up to mind, exploring now, like, what are what are things that might be of interest? Maybe try a couple different things, new hobbies and seeing we might not, it might not be the first thing that sticks or that feels an alignment. But a lot of times we need to just pause to do that. And this beautifully comes full circle, right? Creating the moments where I feel safe enough to pause, creating the opportunity to have that curious exploration, the space, the time, the energy, the safety in my body, to even be able to engage with that. And then trying things on, I think as adults, we have this idea that if I don't immediately know if it doesn't stick, or I might make the wrong choice and we wait all of these choices, instead of just giving ourselves the unstructured opportunity to experiment, I think that for a lot of us will lead us in the direction of what it is that is ultimately met for us.

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