Relationship Maintenance - Is There a Suffering Mechanism?

When people have a successful relationship, they often imagine that other people understand them better than they actually do. This is one thing that helps them maintain a sense of security and safety in that relationship. And you're saying that there are sometimes cases where people may feel understood without actually being understood? Yes, there are. We talk about this as a maintenance mechanism. By that we mean a way of thinking about your relationship that actually boosts the integrity and the coherence and the safety of the relationship.