Introduction

When we are children, this experience of socialization lays the foundation of our interaction with other people as an adult. But it's a profoundly painful experience, because in this process, we learn what about us is bad, wrong, unacceptable, unlovable and will be rejected. We have to put forward whatever is seen by the social group that we're around as right, good, acceptable, lovable and wanted. When we go on a date with someone, or when we're starting a relationship with someone, what we want is for that person to approve of us to the degree that they want us. That's our goal. And most of all, of this whole dynamic, we're set