The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker field this month's listeners' entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.

Among the selections are foreign vocabulary you absorb through football, the debatable thrill of a 50-50 challenge between players with the same shirt number, lumbering centre-backs who suddenly find themselves out on the wing, the unwritten laws of a referee playing advantage and teams not bothering to launch an attack in first-half injury time.

Meanwhile, the Cliché pod announces its 2024 live tour, which visits Manchester, Birmingham, Dublin, Leeds, Bristol and London in February and March.

Join the Adjudication Panel for the most gloriously pedantic night in football history: https://myticket.co.uk/artists/football-cliches-live

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