Leading others doesn't begin with a title—it begins with self-leadership. Too many men chase influence, authority, or recognition before they've learned how to lead themselves. That's where imposter syndrome creeps in—of course you're not as good yet; leadership isn't a destination, it's a discipline. It's not just tactical execution or getting things done—it's service, responsibility, and the relentless pursuit of getting better. Leadership at home, leadership with your kids, leadership over your own habits and standards.
In this episode, I talk with leadership expert, Kipp Sorensen. Today, we break down the three traps of self-leadership that quietly sabotage men: the Victim, the Persecutor, and the Rescuer, the dark side of influence, how to get your own wishes and desires met, how to be aware of "polite manipulation," and why honoring agency (yourself and others) is the key to leading well.
SHOW HIGHLIGHTS 00:00 - Why Self-Leadership Comes Before Leading Others 03:10 - Can Everyone Be a Leader? Mindset vs Skillset 06:15 - Why Ryan Rejects "Imposter Syndrome" 09:00 - Parenting, Projection, and Self-Awareness 12:55 - Jiu-Jitsu, Ego, and the Cost of Pretending 17:45 - Where Men Struggle Most With Self-Leadership 18:05 - The Victim Mindset Explained 22:10 - The Hidden Payoff of Victimhood 26:00 - Taking Ownership and Closing the Integrity Gap 30:30 - Why We Justify Our Worst Behaviors 37:00 - The Persecutor Trap in Leadership 44:15 - How to Have Hard Conversations Without Blame 46:35 - Why Performance Is Emotional, Not Technical 51:20 - The Rescuer Trap and "Nice Guy" Leadership 56:10 - Why Difficulty Is Required for Growth 01:00:40 - Stress as a Catalyst for Learning 01:03:40 - Alignment, Leadership, and Kipp's New Mission
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