The Importance of Desire in a Relationship

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"I think it's a fear that it's like embedded in us from the time we're made on this earth," she says. "We put so much more priority in your sex life than maybe looking at the whole of your relationship as a full ecosystem and sex is a portion of it" If you're not getting anything out of sexual encounters, why would you crave them? Sex isn't an inherent part of me that I have a right to explore myself and get what I want out of it, he adds.

1. How to finally discover what turns us on, how to discuss turn-offs – and how to create “sex menus” with our partners.

2. The real reason so many of us don’t feel like having sex.

3. How to ask for more sex – and how to turn it down without hurting your partner.

4. Orgasm – why it’s not the whole shebang – and what to do if we’ve been faking it.

5. Glennon and Abby engage in an exercise to practice talking dirty. (Glennon has not recovered.)

For the first part of our conversation with Vanessa, check out Episode 195: Sex Talk & That Night in Miami: Sex Therapy with Vanessa Marin.

And to hear our original “Silent Sex Queen” episode, go way back and check out: Episode 14: SILENT SEX QUEEN: Why aren’t we talking about sex more?

About Vanessa:

Vanessa Marin is a sex therapist and instant New York Times Best Selling author of Sex Talks: The Five Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life, co-written with her husband and partner-in-crime, Xander Marin.

Vanessa is here to help you kick shame out of the bedroom so you can start feeling the connection, pleasure, and joy you deserve!

Vanessa has been featured in various major publications and has written for The New York Times, Allure, and Lifehacker.

TW: @VMTherapy

IG: @vanessaandxander

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