How to Let Go of Control

I use psilocybin now as a form of antidepressant. For me, it almost replaced an SSRI, but not something I need to take. Only when I catch myself going into a bit of a dip, I'm able to then microdose. It keeps me at a place where I never dip to where I can't pull myself back out again. And then I use ayahuasca when I'm working through something and only when the medicine callsNot when I choose to go. So I've never booked a trip or tried to. It's always presented itself to me as an opportunity or a chance to go somewhere. And that's how the medicine should be.